The past month or so has probably been the most eventful month of my life. I turned down a great opportunity, and halfway through final exams I suddenly decided to take a leave of absence from university. To people around me, it may look like a string of wild impulses, but to me, in a way, it feels perfectly natural. I’ll use this post to record how I feel right now. My last report is done, and my internship at NewTalk has ended too. I don’t have any plans for the future, yet I’m eager to try things out.
Taking a leave of absence was an option I had never considered before. For me, and for most people in Taiwan, finishing university and earning a diploma is a path we must take, one that doesn’t require thinking about the reasons behind it. For us, going to university, or even graduate school, is a must rather than a choice. You can choose different departments, but you can’t choose not to go. That was my thinking in the past.
But one day, after helping the student council finish an electronic vote, I suddenly got the bad news that the operations research final exam was next week. After some thought, I resignedly picked up my textbook, walked into the study room, and started studying hard. As I studied, a lot of question marks suddenly popped up in my head:
University is a path everyone must take. Is that really true?
In the past three years, have I really learned anything with a serious attitude?
Am I going to university to gain knowledge, or for that diploma?
This semester, because I wanted to improve my English, I chatted in English every week with a Norwegian friend. Through our conversations I learned a lot about other countries. We talked about driving licenses, the weather, TV series, education, and many other topics. When we discussed education, I was truly shaken. I asked her how many people in Norway go to university, and she answered in a very matter-of-fact tone: “Not many. Going to university is really for doing research. Many people choose to become apprentices and learn a skill.” The way she spoke made it clear that whether or not to go to university was a perfectly natural matter, either way.
It was that conversation that made me start to reflect on the question: “Is university really a path everyone must take?”
I’m quite sure I’m interested in information management. I love computer science, and I also like business and management knowledge, and I hope to combine the two. But when I think carefully about the past three years, did I ever seriously study any one subject? No! When I really think about it, going to university has meant nothing more to me than that diploma and the words printed on it, “National Taiwan University of Science and Technology.” To put it more bluntly, deep down I was treating the diploma as a get-out-of-jail-free card. I thought that as long as I graduated smoothly, my life would go smoothly, and I could use that diploma to avoid the problems I really needed to face. In the past three years, I actually didn’t put real effort into any one class. I just stayed at university for the sake of that diploma, for society’s expectations, and for many reasons that had nothing to do with myself.
I’m not trying to promote the idea that university is useless. On the contrary, I believe university has its meaning. Over these three years I have come to understand that going to university does have meaning. If you truly learn that knowledge, it will definitely help your future. But this refers to the knowledge itself, not to the diploma helping your future.
Since university has its meaning and really does help the future, why did I choose to take a leave of absence? Isn’t that contradictory? Yes, it is. But there are two things in this world that are often confused: “knowing” and “experiencing.” There are many things we know. We know our family won’t be with us forever, so we should spend more time with them. We know that learning is absolutely helpful to us. We know we shouldn’t give up easily, and that persistence will eventually lead to success. But we have never truly experienced these things. To use learning as an analogy: it’s like remembering a piece of knowledge but never really using it or feeling its pain points. You can’t master that knowledge thoroughly. For many things, we stop at knowing and never get to experiencing. So during the past three years, I knew that university held a wealth of knowledge waiting for me to dig into, but after three years, I had done nothing at all.
After three years of doing nothing at university, I had actually taught myself many things. I have every reason to believe that this last year wouldn’t change anything either. I still haven’t experienced the power and importance of this knowledge; I only know about it. So why not try to make a change? If I take a two-year leave, maybe in two years I’ll understand the importance of knowledge. Then I can return to campus, seriously learn this knowledge, and graduate. At least two years from now, I’ll be facing university with a serious attitude, rather than going just to get a diploma. And if two years from now I still don’t understand the importance of knowledge or the realities of society, then what would be the point of returning to university?
Honestly, for me these two years of leave are more like a gap year. I don’t know whether I’ll return to campus in two years, and I’m not assuming that I will. I’ll just let things take their natural course. This isn’t a rebellion against the university system. It’s more like “I want to find my motivation for going to university.” In the past, I studied seriously for the Tongce exam (the joint entrance exam for vocational schools) because I truly recognized the realities of this society. But now I simply haven’t truly “recognized” why I should go to university. This is also why I support the idea that after the entrance exam, people should work or do other things for 1-2 years before going to university. Haven’t I already studied for 12 years straight? More important than going to university right away is understanding “why you are going to university.” Otherwise, you’ll spend those four years at university studying only for the diploma, and you’ll enter a treasure mountain and come back empty-handed. As for graduating a few years later than others, honestly that’s no big deal (lol). Although in the past I did worry about it.
There are two most common reasons for going to university. One is to learn knowledge, but it’s obvious that most people don’t come for that reason. The other is the diploma and the various advantages that come with being a student.
The most common claims are that graduates find jobs more easily, earn higher salaries than others, that society discriminates against people without university degrees, that you make more friends through university, and that you get to experience college life. I’ve thought about all of these, but after rational consideration, none of them is a key factor for me. It’s true that you can make many friends at university, and that is one factor, but it’s not decisive. The other reasons are the same.
Is it really easier to find a job after graduating from university? Will your salary definitely be higher than others’? The idea of discrimination hides the notion that “a diploma is a lucky charm.” I hate this passive way of thinking. If we have enough ability, would every company refuse to hire you just because you don’t have a university degree? For companies, ability is hard to detect, so when you first enter the workplace, companies use your education to guess your ability. But after you’ve had your first and second jobs, your education is just something to brag about. Companies look at your ability, and ability is what determines your salary, not your university degree. Of course, a few companies do judge your ability by your education and your school, but I wouldn’t even bother with such a company. What I should be thinking about is “Is my ability enough?”, “Have I shown my ability?”, and, most importantly, “Can this ability help the company make money?”, rather than “Is my education good enough?”
After thinking through all these reasons, I realized that I, who have always prided myself on breaking out of the mold, was actually trapped in a mold for three years. I truly admire the friends who decisively chose not to go to university right after high school. They are not without the ability to get into a good university. Rather, they truly understand that whether or not to go to university is just a choice. It is neither good nor bad; it is simply a choice.
I’d really like all my friends to think about it. Are you really staying at university for knowledge? Or are you, like me, only there for that diploma? If you’re like me, then why not try submitting a leave of absence application? Maybe in two years you’ll understand why you’re going to university. Then you can apply to return and seriously learn the knowledge on campus. That’s definitely more meaningful than just coasting through four years at university, isn’t it? It’s not about leaving yourself no way back. It’s about trying a different path.
Right now, my feelings are more like graduating early. From now on, I can no longer use being a student as an umbrella. I have to face the real tests of this society, prove my ability in order to earn work and a salary, and earn the right to make a living. Honestly, I’m quite looking forward to it.